Working Through the Pain

So today I want to give you my background story and the reasons for this blog.
I am 22 years old as most of you know! I am extremely over weight. I have tried many diets and exercise routines and have never had any luck on losing weight and keeping it off.

Some of the reasons I want and need to lose weight:
   My first and foremost goal on my bucket list is to go skydiving. As you can imagine, there is a weight limit. I am going to meet that goal first!!  I have a family reunion at the beach this summer and want to be able to wear a regular swim suit without a stupid grandma skirt at the age of 23! Also I am planning on going to Country Stampede again this year. It was so hot and miserable for me last year, I think that if I lose some of this weight it wouldn't be so bad. I just want to be able to do a lot of things that make a bigger person sweat when smaller people are chilly!

The BIGGEST and most important reason I am losing this weight is because if (for whatever reason, may it be skydiving or motorcycle riding or shark swimming or whatever) I become paralyzed, I don't want my caretaker to have to lift my ridiculously heavy body. I personally know how fast a life can change and how difficult it is to deal with heavy people that don't have control over their body. I don't want to put anybody through that. IF that ever were the case, of course.
So those are my main reasons right now. There are so many that it's just time!!

On to TODAY: 
I get a text this morning from Kayla (my friend that has been going to the gym with me) saying that she didn't think she was going to make it to the gym this morning. I was a little bummed but thought it might be a good idea to skip a day so my muscles could relax since I was so sore and stiff last night. Then Kayla calls me and we talk each other into going to the gym! YAY for motivational friends =)

My Workout:
Today I did cardio. I worked out on the elliptical and walked the track and then rode the bikes for a while. Notice I didn't put times or distances on any of that lol. I don't like to look at that stuff right now because I just beat myself up after I'm done thinking I'm so horrible that I can't even go however long. I decided that this time I'm not going to weigh myself nearly as often as I usually do and that I was going to workout according to how I felt and not what the machine says. I even cover up the screen with a towel so I'm not tempted and so I don't discourage myself. Sometimes I think that if I can't go as long as the person next to me then why am I even there? I know I know, that's stupid and I have to work through those thoughts. And I'm going to!! Kayla then wanted to do abs. I went up with her but I ended up just stretching because my muscles are so tight. And I have heard there really is no point to doing abs until I get the fat off my stomach so that I can tone the abs. So I stuck to cardio for today.

My Foods:
I have quit trying any specific diet due to failure lol. I'm keeping it plain and simple! Burn more calories than you eat. I am stupid when it comes to good foods vs bad foods and fatty foods vs lean foods and all that jazz so really I'm just focusing on the calories for now!
This morning for breakfast I had an egg and a bagel with a little bit of jelly on it. I know jelly's not the best but this blog is not for you to judge me but simply for me to be able to write things down!

That is my day so far! It's lunch time now and I am not hungry! I will probably have a little something though.
Hope you are having a wonderful day!!


Doin' ME